Wednesday, February 24

Weird Dream


Yesterday, I dream I am a pro Go player. It was really weird! coz i am super bad at go =.=.. so I was hang out with my friends who's also are Pro Goers. But thing in that world, I didnt play go for a while. My friend asked me to play againts random amateur that we can find nearby..

I said to them:
"amateur? Gimme any amateur and i can beat them in 20 moves!"

So my friend hook me up to an amateur that I know of..(manche) We played.. The dream kinda fast forward to the point where I have to make a critical move.. I felt like the game is so complicated and I've become the REAL me, the one that doensnt know how to play go..

In the current game position, I was 3-way trapped by the amateur, he could gain points either by 100, 1000, or 10000.. But i didnt see the 10000 point move... after a while, I moved to avoid the 1000 points.. just to find out that manche moved to take the 10000 points! But then he said it was 30000 points because of the special formation he make.. Idk whats going on but i nodded agreeing it was 30000 (dnt want make myself look like a noob)..

I resigned.. (impossible to make a comeback).. I said to them: "I havent played for a while!! I lost my touch"! I beg to my friend Marcus to teach me how to be pro again but he said "DO YOU THINK ITS EASY TO BE A PRO??" and then we're about to fight.. the dream ends..

what an educational dream :P

Monday, February 22

Best of luck to my friend

A very good friend of mine just broke up with his gf..

Apparently he blame the long distance relationship.. College is tough and he had a really bad weeks so he was not in the mood and broke up with his gf..

When he come to his senses and more calm, he tried to make it back to his gf but his gf did not forgive him..

I feel really sad coz I always thought they were very cute together.. I guess long distance is not for everybody.. He did manage to keep it up for years though..

whats done is done.. But its hard to move on.. I know coz ive been stuck in this bad feeling for awhile now... Idk how to go out of this shell.. =.=

Regardless, ive wish him the best of luck.. let us have a more happy life.. slowly, but surely :)

Sunday, February 14

Saya nak cuti

Apparently, my cousin Zaimah is entering a Mas competition called "Saya nak cuti". Basically the competition is about people introducing themselves and arguing why they deserve to have a free trip. (kinda desperate huh?). Still its a good thing if she win. I mean, really. I myself would love to get a free trip to Hanoi or whatever.. lol..

You guys should totally check her "hillarious" introduction video here and possibly vote:

Imah introduction video

Hrmm... miss malaysia already :/

Sunday, February 7

demon's soul

bought a game called demon soul for ps3.. dnt really like it but cant return it to the store :\

Me:"But I thought u guys got 7 day return policy?"
Them:"Thats only for unopened games.. If it already opened, you can only change it for a new one if it has a problem."
Me:"But I dont like it"
One of boy staff:"You dont like it? Too hard huh?"
Me: :)
Them:"I am really sorry.. I hope I can help.. You could trade it in for 1/3 of the price"
Me:"So cheap.. I guys I'll Just play it then : ("

left the store, broken hearted..

Global Unification

Based on my friend's advice, In order for me to improve my sociallness and be less shy, I had to go out and go to events.. Luckily, yesterday there is an event called Global Unification held at RIT which is a good place for me to be less shy, reduce my social phobia and become more social (supportive) : D

Hence, the point of coming there was really to interact with people.. Sure for someone like me, it wasnt an easiy task.. I was quickly overwhelmed by the amount of malay ppl present.. From the familiar faces like pao, naje, freshman, to unfamiliar faces like najmi, mat, jie... But this time I control it a bit... I didnt manage to talk to all of em, but I did manage to make conversation with lot of people.. I guess its true that a simple "Hi" wont hurt..

I think Im improving.. The world of socialness has never been this fun : D I wanna be a better person!! I love people!! LoL

Congratulations to all the performers of MySA and the supporters!! You guys show amazing spirit :) Keep up the good work xD

Thursday, February 4

Root of all evil

SNOW -> Cant wear nike shoes -> Dry lips -> Blizzard and uber cold > Slippery road (caution!) -> First bus delayed due to snow! -> Bus move slower than ever -> Reached second bus stop but missed the second bus because of the delayed first bus (oh Great!) -> Wait for next one (about 35 minutes) -> Arrived to class late > Owned

So yeah I do love the cute white thing called snow ^_^

Wednesday, February 3


How can someone be so bold? I feel like ive been shy all my life and I want to discover how to be bold.. People says that well if you want to be bold, you should just ignore what people think about you.. I find that very hard to do.. I always think about myself and ive always avoided attention.. Really need to learn the secret to be more bold and confident o_O

Because when I shy, it usually lead to more negative things like depression, social phobia, anxiety, disjoy.. I never ment to be rude or ignorant to anyone, I just cant handle the pressure of social interaction. (why is there a pressure to begin with?) T_T

Yesterday, when i was taking the bus to the University, A man went inside the bus, saying loudly with energy in his voice "Does anyone have a dollar? I forgot my pass card this morning." No one answered for a sec so I decided to help him.. Ofc I was shy to answer myself, so I decided to (halfly) raise my hand, he sees me and I give him the dollar..

It literally amaze me.. I, even in my wildest dream, I would never do such thing.. Probably in the most desperate situation I would beg the bus driver for mercy (cause it was 1 person attention compared to the whole bus!).. Lately my shyness is getting worse..

This madness has to stop before it get too worse and to the point where I dont have friends anymore.. The feeling is there, just need to "make it work".. Someone also say to me that no matter how smart you are, you wont go far in carreer if you too shy and dont have social skills...

Such a dilemma...

Tuesday, February 2


How many times have I said I wanted to change yet still remain unchanged? Hopefully this time I'll be able to pull this off -.-" Btw mahmud, mls nak wat yg tag2 tu.. yours is interesting though.. mine probably s*** so better not o_O